So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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