six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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