he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We talked him into tasing himself.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
