Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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