I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize