I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
