I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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