I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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