You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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