I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize