everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
