Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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