What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
