I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Randomize
