OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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