I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
