no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
