I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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