3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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