he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
