Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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