I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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