you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
