after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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