Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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