I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
