He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
