everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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