Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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