did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
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You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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