What a fucking waste of an outfit
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
