Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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