Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
