im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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