I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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