My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You are a genius and a whore.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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