Pappa wants mamma naked
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
