I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize