living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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