Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
