best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
