I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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