You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All I want is dick and wine.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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