went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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