so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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