Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
