drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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