Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
