I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
