Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
