Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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