I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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