If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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