I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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