dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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