Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
