I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize