There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish i was in the wii world.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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