just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
