Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
