is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
