The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
