Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
