An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
